When I played lacrosse for the Tufts University Jumbos (yes, the Elephants), we were good. Good enough to be ranked #2 in the nation at one time, but not exceptional. We did not win our conference and only appeared in the NCAA tournament once. We played a brand of lacrosse that was controlled, safe, and low-scoring, often winning games 6-5 or 9-7.
A few years after I graduated, that all changed when my coach made the courageous decision to abandon his approach to play and adopt a much more aggressive, fast, and fun brand of ball. In the next five years, the Jumbos routinely led the country in goals, wins, and even championships (winning seven consecutive conference titles and three national championships in five seasons). They also led the country in turnovers, but who cares? What was the key? What was this winning recipe? Make mistakes of action, not inaction!
Interestingly, research has shown that regrets of inaction are far more common than regrets of action. We regret failures lacking boldness, failures in showing up, and failures of avoidance. When working with athletes and teams, I try to normalize a fear of failure, of making mistakes, of being judged and encourage them to, instead, approach the game more vulnerably. Playing vulnerably is embracing, accepting, and surrendering to the fact that mistakes will happen. With acceptance comes the realization that one must move forward bravely anyway. Bravery, after all, is not moving forward without fear, it is moving forward while afraid.
If you were to embrace uncertainty, create comfort with making mistakes, and act more courageously in your performance pursuits, what would be different?
What would (or wouldn’t) you regret?