Imagine you are immersed in one of those golf rounds you’d love to forget. You know the ones—where every shot feels like a struggle, putts refuse to drop, and frustration builds with every swing. You’re fuming inside, caught between self-criticism and sheer exasperation. Maybe you mutter a few choice words under your breath, give yourself a stern talking-to, or, in a moment of pure exasperation, send your club sailing into the nearest pond. While I am most certainly not endorsing the last option, I think it is critical to recognize the inevitability of painful emotion on the golf course and the ineffectiveness (and implausibility) of trying to ignore it, suppress it, or, “just calm down.”
Research is crystal clear about one thing when it comes to emotional suppression: It does not work and worse yet, it intensifies already painful feelings. Even more interesting, when we attempt to suppress emotions like anger or frustration, we don’t just mute the bad—we also dull our ability to experience joy and satisfaction. When we attempt to remain robotic, apathetic, or unflappable through suppression, it backfires and we actually end up with higher anxiety, poorer performance, and decreased enjoyment.
But here’s the good news—emotions exist because we truly care about what we’re doing and that’s a good thing. So, next time you are on the course, hit a poor shot, and feel frustrated, here are a few suggestions to manage your emotion, rather than allowing it to manage you:
Practice Mindfulness – Acknowledge the emotion, accept it without judgment, and allow it to pass. Visualize it like cars on a highway, clouds drifting in the sky, or a leaf floating down a river.
Name It to Tame It – Simply labeling your emotion (“I’m frustrated right now”) can help you process it and remind you that frustration is just a sign that you care and are fully present.
Deep Breathing & Relaxation – Take a few deep breaths to reset your nervous system and regain focus.
Stay Objective & Learn – Shift your mindset from emotional reaction to logical assessment. Instead of berating yourself, analyze the situation: “I left the club face open, which caused the slice.” Learn from it and move forward.
Anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it is how you respond to it that matters. If you use it constructively, it can actually sharpen your focus and improve resilience. The club thrower is allowing himself to feel emotion, express it and (hopefully) move on. Maybe effective use of these alternative strategies can help you from having to fish your club out of the course pond.
When you are feeling frustrated on the course or at work, how does it affect your performance?